Preparing for your child's first day at daycare or school

The first day at daycare or school is a milestone loaded with emotion, and not only for the child. Many parents feel a complicated mix of pride, nervousness, and a lump in the throat at the gate. A bit of gentle preparation in the days beforehand can ease the transition for everyone and make those first goodbyes kinder.

Children take their cues from us. When we are calm and positive about this new step, they are far more likely to feel safe about it too, even if there are tears along the way.

Talk about it in advance

Surprises are harder than expectations. In the days before, talk warmly and simply about what will happen: where they are going, what they will do, and that you will always come back. Reading a story about starting school or playing pretend can make the unfamiliar feel friendly.

Practise the new routine

A first morning is smoother when the rhythm is not also brand new. Gently shifting wake-up and bedtimes a little earlier in the week before, and doing a practice run of the morning, helps the actual day feel less like a shock.

• Visit the setting beforehand if you can, so it is not all new
• Pack the bag together the night before
• Label belongings and prepare clothes in advance
• Practise the morning routine a few times
• Plan a calm, unhurried first morning with extra time

Make goodbyes short and warm

It is tempting to linger or to sneak away, but both tend to make things harder. A short, confident, loving goodbye, with a clear message that you will be back, helps your child settle faster than a long, anxious farewell. Most children calm down soon after a parent leaves, even when the parting is teary.

Expect a settling-in period

Some children stride in happily and some take weeks to feel at home, and both are completely normal. Tiredness, big feelings, and a few wobbly mornings are to be expected as they adjust. Staying in touch with the carers or teachers helps you support your child together.

Look after yourself too

This is a big change for you as well. It is okay to feel emotional handing over your little one. Be gentle with yourself, trust that this step is part of them growing, and know that the wobbles, theirs and yours, almost always settle with time.